Unlocking Secret Perks of Being Nice to Yourself: The Ultimate Guide to Self-Love Done Right!

Hey there, my fellow human! Do you ever feel like you're just not enough? Like you're constantly failing, and no matter how hard you try, you just can't seem to make it work? Well, have no fear, because I'm here to tell you that being kind to yourself is the answer to most of your problems! Yes, you heard me right – by treating yourself with love and respect, you can reach your full potential and achieve greatness!

Now, I know what you're thinking: "But if I'm kind to myself, won't I just become lazy and unmotivated? Won't I just spend all day lounging around in a bubble bath, sipping wine and eating chocolate?" Well, my dear friend, I'm here to tell you that being kind to yourself is not about indulging in excess – it's about taking care of yourself physically and emotionally so that you can be the best version of yourself.

So, how do you start being kind to yourself? Here are some tips to get you on the right path:

1 —

Manage your mind

Sit down and take an honest assessment of your strengths and weaknesses. Figure out what you need to work on in terms of self-improvement. Are you struggling with depression or anxiety? Do you have obsessive circular thoughts? Do you have trouble focusing on your work? If you find these things too overwhelming to address on your own, don't hesitate to seek help from a mental health professional. If cost is an issue, keep in mind that there are low-fee clinics available that can help. You can also look into self-help books, websites, and social media, but make sure that you're getting advice from a credible source, ideally someone who is licensed and experienced in psychology.

2 —

Change your self-talk

The way we talk to ourselves has a huge influence on how we feel. If you come from a home that was verbally or emotionally abusive, you might have internalized that voice and speak to yourself in the same mean or cruel way. This only perpetuates a negative cycle and makes you feel worse. Negative self-talk is when we speak to ourselves in ways that are cruel, mean, critical, or catastrophizing. For example, we might decide that because a date went poorly, no one will ever love us. Or if we put on a couple of pounds, we might decide that our body is unattractive. Or if we get a bad grade on a test, we might think that we are going to be a failure forever. When we take a negative experience and turn it into a character defect, a harbinger of our future, or a sign of imminent failure, we deny ourselves the ability to learn from it. When we can be neutral and take in the information, we can utilize it to better ourselves and grow.

To change your negative self-talk, try taking a piece of paper and put a line down the middle. On the left-hand side, write down some of the things that you typically say to yourself when you're engaging in negative self-talk. On the right-hand side, write down five responses to the negative comments. Try to imagine what you would tell a friend or a child who you were caring for. Try to make the responses in the present tense and do not use negative words like “not.” For example, if your negative comment is, “No one is ever going to love me.” On the right side of the page you might write things like, “I am lovable” or, “I trust the universe to provide me with a loving partner.” Sometimes you have to fake it until you make it. You may not always believe all of the positive statements in the beginning, but you need them in order to rewire your brain.

3 —

Failure is an Opportunity!

Failing at something can feel like a punch in the gut, but it's essential for growth. If you don't risk failure, you won't have the opportunity to learn and improve. Think of it like a game of darts: each missed shot gives you information on how to adjust your aim. In life, each failure is a chance to adjust your strategy and try again. Don't take failure personally or spend too much time fearing it. Instead, ask yourself, "What can I learn from this experience?" and "How can I use this to make me better?"

4 —

Gratitude is the Way to Go!

Gratitude is the opposite of depression, and practicing it can work wonders for your physical and emotional health. According to studies, people who practice gratitude develop a stronger immune system, experience fewer aches and pains, have lower blood pressure, and sleep better. They also report more positive emotions, increased optimism, feeling more alert and awake, feeling less lonely and isolated, and more forgiving. So, practice gratitude by using gratitude journals or other gratitude practices and reap the benefits!

5 —

Stop Diagnosing Yourself!

It's the latest trend to diagnose ourselves and talk about our emotional unwellness. But, when our negative attributes become our identity, we are more likely to hold onto them and less likely to change them. So, instead of talking about all the negative traits you see in yourself or how much you don't like yourself, try talking about positive things going on in your life. Work on constructing a different self-identity that is based on your strengths, not your weaknesses. And, if you're struggling with something, talk about it and get the support you need from a professional.

6 —

Surround Yourself with the Right People!

Get rid of people in your life who are critical, make you feel bad about yourself, or are hurtful or abusive toward you. Actively work to surround yourself with people who are loving, trustworthy, and make you feel good. It's great to have friends around you who call you out on your crap because they care about you and want to see you improve yourself. But, get rid of the ones who just enjoy picking on you.

7 —

Do What You Love!

Make the time to do things that you love to do. Participating in hobbies, creative endeavors, and passion projects fuels us. Part of being kind to yourself is carving out time to do things that you love.

8 —

Self-Care is Not Selfish!

Practicing self-care is necessary for longevity and well-being, and it's not selfish. A study of medical students found that those who practiced self-care were less stressed and reported a better quality of life, both physically and emotionally. So, make time for activities that put emotional gasoline into the tank. These activities can include anything that helps you destress and relax, such as bubble baths, mani/pedis, lighting candles, playing soothing music, or getting a massage.

9 —

Practice Lifestyle Self-Care!

Therapeutic lifestyle interventions, which are activities you can do on your own, are important for self-care. The six pillars of lifestyle medicine are nutrition, physical activity, stress management, sleep, social connection, and avoiding risky substances. Make sure you have access to healthy, nutritious food, and regularly engage in physical activity. Utilize stress management techniques, such as meditation or deep breathing, and get the recommended amount of sleep. Positive social connections can improve health on every level, both physical and emotional, so stay connected. And, avoid risky substances that can harm your health.